O

i’ve built myself into a form you can understand

i’ve covered myself in porcelain

dyed my cheeks rosy

curled the snakes in my hair into golden locks

made myself weightless,

so that the earth no longer trembles with my steps

made my smile toothless

so that you no longer fear for your neck at night

cut my hands into stumps

covered with little lace gloves

that can no longer disembowel you




i made you believe that if you leave me

my sadness will turn me into sea foam

that i will not wait for you under the waves

until i see you sail over me

and sing you a song that will leave you

breathless




i made you believe that i only drink honey

and eat forest berries

to keep myself light, translucent, never entirely solid

that i don’t drain men dry

and leave them rock still, paralysed,

with only a vague memory of a heavy weight

on their chests




i made you believe that not only i don’t have fangs in my mouth

i made you believe that i don’t have them in any other place




i made you believe that i’m no wolf, nor viper, nor flood

just a little bird, a harmless flower, a crystalline stream

that will leave you bath in it and won’t give you

dysentery




i built myself into a form you can love

and you can only love me if you can break me